Thursday, July 29, 2010
Book Review: Transformations by Renee Wiggings
Renee Wiggins, author and nutritional consultant, recently sent her book to me for review. She was a featured guest on my radio show several weeks back, and since then I've been looking forward to reading Transformations.
The book proved to be ideal for someone who needs easy to digest, daily inspiring messages to help them through a trying time. The layout is simple yet profound and offers the reader words of encouragement and the type of motivational messages that we all need in the midst of any transformation.
On Inspired Life Radio, Renee and I discussed how simple and advantageous change can be and how transformations are things we must willingly step into. Anyone who finds themselves in the midst of a change will find Transformations to be a helpful ally on their journey.
Purchase the book here.
Later!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Are you keeping your inspiration close?
I shot this in Marina del Rey after a fun boat ride out in the Pacific Ocean...ok, ok...it was choppy that day and a little scary...but fun and inspiring still. The video was actually shot in the pier because the water outside of it was crazy. Anyway, this is all about keeping your inspiration close and discovering what stirs your imagination and sparks your creativity. Enjoy!
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The Science of A Happy Marriage
**This is an interesting article I stumbled across today and I'm sharing it here because it's brilliant, and I've personally seen these dynamics at work in my own relationships. Read on & use this to strengthen your relationships!**
Hiding Beneath the Surface
Can a married couple be too close for their own good? Can intimacy lead a couple to break up? New brain science shows us that it can. If couples have not mastered the changing stages of marriage, breakup is possible, and often predictable because the human brain dictates a series of natural responses during the life of a relationship. How we handle those stages can make or break a marriage.
For 20 years I have been studying how women's and men's brains affect marriage, from the first blush of romance all the way through to lifelong partnership. Understanding the behavioral differences involved can be the key to making love last a lifetime.
Stage 1: Romance
When two lovers come together, their brains begin to "fall in love." The couple's pheromones -- chemical signals that work through our senses -- are very high, so when they smell each other or look into each other's eyes, their separate male and female minds become like one. High levels of oxytocin, a bonding hormone, may hide irritating behaviors from each other. But "lovers' bliss" ultimately ends, and a new biological stage of the relationship begins.
Stage 2: Disillusionment
After a few months or even a year, our hormones and brain chemistry begin to change, and our "thinking" brain -- the cerebral cortex -- may notice that our partner is flawed. We feel anger toward each other, irritation, even fear at times. If we married our partner during the Romance stage, we might, in Stage 2, begin to have second thoughts.
Perhaps the wife starts wondering, "What could he be thinking?" as he lies on the couch watching TV instead of doting on her. She feels rejected, especially since he no longer tells her what he's feeling when he feels it.
He can't understand why she's become critical of him about little things. They've been together a few years; they may have a child by now. What else could she want? He feels he's doing something wrong, but can't figure out how to fix it.
The brain chemicals that took over during the early stages of courtship and romance have dissipated, as if a rug was pulled out from under love. How easy it is to think there's now something wrong with ourselves or our partner. How easy to say, "He/she is not the person I married."
But this confusing place is a normal stage, a chemical letdown in both their brains. It's also a necessary next step in helping two very different brain systems come together for life.
Stage 3: Power Struggle
Two people who experience Disillusionment will usually initiate Power Struggle. They will counter the invisible chemical letdown by trying to change each other back to who they were -- or thought they were -- in the Romance stage. A man and a woman who are in love and struggling in this way will have the added difficulty (and ammunition) of being neurally "different" -- for the male and female brains think, act, behave and even love quite uniquely.
This is a painful time. But couples who are locked in Power Struggle don't realize their brain differences can actually be the key to long-term marriage.
After Romance ebbs, the man may want more independent activities, the woman more contact with friends. While this tendency has a foundation in learned behaviors and gender roles, hormones like testosterone and estrogen support these differences.
What's the impact of this on marriage? Well, one of the main reasons we pick at each other mercilessly during the Power Struggle stage is our differing attitudes toward marital independence. Not surprisingly, first marriages that end in divorce last an average of seven to eight years -- the very time we are trying to "change" the other person.
Yet nature does not allow us to turn back the chemical and neural clock. Nature keeps moving forward in the life cycle. A new stage of marital love awaits when the couple can finally discover each other, both as lovers and as men and women. It will require one or both to awaken to something that has been hiding beneath the surface.
Intimate Separateness
Stage 4: Awakening
What many couples don't understand is that before drifting apart, there is an earlier step that goes unnoticed. In Romance, Disillusionment and Power Struggle, the man and woman become too close, erasing one another's individuality. A man might see his wife's emotionality, need to communicate, desire for sensual romance, even attitude toward housework as a waste of time. She might see her husband's habits, hobbies, preoccupation with work, and need for independence as dangerous or selfish. In Stage 4, the couple awaken to the realization that they've been too close to each other in unhealthy ways and must now psychologically separate. This separation does not mean divorce -- it means understanding. In this new stage, the thinking brain overrides emotional responses that could cause conflict and a feeling of grief over their lost romance.
A man might step back and say nothing when he sees his wife doing something that irritates -- he just mentally steps around it. A woman might supportively say, "I get what that's about now," when he does something equally irritating to her.
Ultimately men realize that women are right: A relationship is most likely doomed if there isn't enough togetherness. But men are right, too: It is most likely in serious trouble if there is not enough independence.
When we are too far away from each other, that amazing love we knew at the beginning will die. Yet when we are so close that one person will not allow the other to be himself or herself, the marriage can't survive. Understanding the strengths of male and female chemistry is the key to success.
Stage 5: Long-Term Marriage
The balance between the prototypical male and female ways of relating is a balanced state of love I call Intimate Separateness. The Power Struggle of Stage 3 dissipates, and strategies of mature love that nurture both intimacy and separateness take over. Couples live together, raise children, love and are loved, but not because they've become the same as each other -- in fact, because they've learned to be happily different.
To Foster Intimacy
* A happy couple in a happy marriage develop bonding rituals, like date nights, family dinners, talking on the phone or e-mailing when one of them is traveling. These rituals become the pillars that hold up the marriage. Every moment of the relationship does not have to be intimate -- the husband and wife know that the bonding rituals will sustain the power of love when life gets busy and stressful.
* They practice kindness and politeness with each other in at least 95 percent of their interactions. There is perhaps no one who deserves better treatment than one's spouse, but when we're locked in Power Struggle, we think our partner should be our constant object of stress ventilation. The frontal lobes are really doing their mature job when we realize how a good marriage depends on kindness.
* They resolve arguments rather than letting things fester. Sure, they get angry and argue, but they make sure to apologize for meanness, and solve their conflicts. When needed, they get help from friends, extended family or professionals.
To Protect Separateness
* They appreciate each other's eccentricities and differences, especially as woman and man. Perhaps he hogs the remote control when they watch TV. Instead of reacting, she chuckles. Or perhaps she wants to talk about her feelings with him; he understands how important this is to her as a woman and takes the time to listen.
* They develop different sets of friends, generally female for her and male for him, and encourage each other in these friendships. Over the years they may find that even while their spouse is their best friend, they are still getting much of their emotional needs met through others.
* They allow each other different marital domains. If a special project, a hobby or sport, a way of socializing is very important to one, the other helps promote that. This way, each partner has a personal place, a time, an activity which brings meaning and power.
There's tremendous value in knowing that your feelings toward one another are likely to change over time and that change is normal. Your brain chemistry plays a role, and there's no point in fighting it. Instead, let biology guide you toward understanding, and natural, long-term love. After all, human beings are creatures of nature, and nature is very wise indeed.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Vitamin N - the ultimate success nutrient
Vitamin N
I’m so excited to tell you about this revolutionary new vitamin that can change your life!
It’s Vitamin No – the vitamin that gives you the stamina to overcome obstacles and stay positive. What if I told you that the word “no” was a vitamin? It can be! In fact, for the Inspired Lifer like you, it should be.
Think about how many times you’ve heard no or been rejected for one reason or another – it usually stings or feels bad and sometimes it can be devastating. But here’s the deal: You’re on an upward spiral toward your destiny – your destiny, though, is not a destination – it’s a journey and an evolution. On your path of growth, expansion, and forward motion, you’ll hear a certain number of “no”s. It’s inevitable – every amazing feat has been shunned by small minds before it was accepted as the brilliance it truly is. Think of how things like the light bulb, the car, and the television started. They were all considered to be “silly” and people said they’d never work. And now, we take these inventions for granted.
Reframing the concept of being rejected creates power. You are on a divine path – one that no one can disturb or interrupt. If something good is being taken from you, it’s only because something great is going to replace it. With that understanding, the word “no” is a vitamin that merely indicates “not this one” or “not now” instead of “You’re not good enough”, “You can’t do it” or “You’re a failure.”
This week, whenever you hear “no”, remember that it’s a vitamin that’s nourishing your courage and empowering you to fully own the big “yes” that’s on its way.
Inspired Journaling Prompt: Write about what you’ll do next time you hear “no” instead of choosing sadness, frustration, or anger.
Inspired Action: Put the systems and structures in place for you to be instantly inspired next time you hear “no”. Move your vision board to a more visible place, print your favorite article or post an inspiring quote where you can see it. Set yourself up for a positive frame of mind and remember that Vitamin N is extra healthy for you!
I’m so excited to tell you about this revolutionary new vitamin that can change your life!
It’s Vitamin No – the vitamin that gives you the stamina to overcome obstacles and stay positive. What if I told you that the word “no” was a vitamin? It can be! In fact, for the Inspired Lifer like you, it should be.
Think about how many times you’ve heard no or been rejected for one reason or another – it usually stings or feels bad and sometimes it can be devastating. But here’s the deal: You’re on an upward spiral toward your destiny – your destiny, though, is not a destination – it’s a journey and an evolution. On your path of growth, expansion, and forward motion, you’ll hear a certain number of “no”s. It’s inevitable – every amazing feat has been shunned by small minds before it was accepted as the brilliance it truly is. Think of how things like the light bulb, the car, and the television started. They were all considered to be “silly” and people said they’d never work. And now, we take these inventions for granted.
Reframing the concept of being rejected creates power. You are on a divine path – one that no one can disturb or interrupt. If something good is being taken from you, it’s only because something great is going to replace it. With that understanding, the word “no” is a vitamin that merely indicates “not this one” or “not now” instead of “You’re not good enough”, “You can’t do it” or “You’re a failure.”
This week, whenever you hear “no”, remember that it’s a vitamin that’s nourishing your courage and empowering you to fully own the big “yes” that’s on its way.
Inspired Journaling Prompt: Write about what you’ll do next time you hear “no” instead of choosing sadness, frustration, or anger.
Inspired Action: Put the systems and structures in place for you to be instantly inspired next time you hear “no”. Move your vision board to a more visible place, print your favorite article or post an inspiring quote where you can see it. Set yourself up for a positive frame of mind and remember that Vitamin N is extra healthy for you!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Inspired Living Challenge is BACK!!!
WOO HOO!
The Inspired Living Challenge is BACK for 2010 - it's 30 days of inspiring challenges to empower and stretch you. We cover it all - nutrition, spirituality, mindset, relationships, and more. You do NOT want to miss this - people from all over the world will be participating in this challenge and transforming their lives.
Check out this video and go sign up here!
The Inspired Living Challenge is BACK for 2010 - it's 30 days of inspiring challenges to empower and stretch you. We cover it all - nutrition, spirituality, mindset, relationships, and more. You do NOT want to miss this - people from all over the world will be participating in this challenge and transforming their lives.
Check out this video and go sign up here!
Don't Down The Noise!!!
Have you ever had an unexplained hunch? It seemed like an internal urge to do something – or not do something – and even though you couldn’t explain it, you knew for sure it was there. Have you had a mental flash of an image or idea? It seemed to come out of nowhere, but it was vivid and clear.
Those things are function of your intuition which is a part of your spiritual faculties. Your ability to clearly discern your intuition has everything to do with your level of “internal noise”. What is internal noise? Internal noise is excessive mental and emotional clutter – thoughts, ideas, fears, to do lists, etc. It’s all the stuff that’s scattered around in your mind and spirit. Imagine being a room that had a 3 televisions playing 3 different movies, 2 radios tuned to 2 different stations, a desktop computer playing an audio file, a laptop computer downloading information, a landline phone ringing, and a cell phone receiving text messages. Dizzying, right? Imagine a small, still voice trying to communicate something amidst all of that chaos. How could you possibly hear anything over all of that commotion? You couldn’t. And that’s what it’s like inside of you when there’s internal noise.
When God is speaking through your intuition, it’s in a small still voice or a flash of inspiration. If you’re internally noisy, you can’t hear it and you miss life-changing moments. How many times have we said something like, “I should have followed my mind” or “Something told me not to do that”. That’s intuition – gently guiding us to where we should be but never forcing us to take the enlightened path.
Today, I challenge you to turn down the internal noise and create a tranquil inner space for your intuition to be loud and clear. Here are some easy ways you can turn the internal noise down:
-Meditate. Even if it’s just 5 minutes in the morning, spend some time in stillness before you begin the day. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and gently clear away any thoughts to just focus on being present. Then slowly begin to see yourself in an ideal space of happiness, love, and abundance.
-Journal. Journaling gets it all out so spend some time writing about the things that are loudest in your inner space. Whether it’s a troubled relationship or a lingering problem, write about it honestly and thoroughly. Release it on the page and allow yourself to be open to the solution.
-Change your environment. Getting away – whether it’s a walk around the block or a week in another country – can inspire clarity and inner quiet. New surroundings require that we be totally present and observant of ourselves and our surroundings, thereby pushing the mute button on inner noise and inviting revelation and creativity.
Inspired Journaling Prompt: Write about a situation in your life when you followed a “hunch” and had a wonderful outcome. Write about other ways following your intuition can empower you.
Inspired Action: Listen! Listen to God’s voice and act on what you hear. Don’t let grass grow under your intuitive leads – take action right away!
Those things are function of your intuition which is a part of your spiritual faculties. Your ability to clearly discern your intuition has everything to do with your level of “internal noise”. What is internal noise? Internal noise is excessive mental and emotional clutter – thoughts, ideas, fears, to do lists, etc. It’s all the stuff that’s scattered around in your mind and spirit. Imagine being a room that had a 3 televisions playing 3 different movies, 2 radios tuned to 2 different stations, a desktop computer playing an audio file, a laptop computer downloading information, a landline phone ringing, and a cell phone receiving text messages. Dizzying, right? Imagine a small, still voice trying to communicate something amidst all of that chaos. How could you possibly hear anything over all of that commotion? You couldn’t. And that’s what it’s like inside of you when there’s internal noise.
When God is speaking through your intuition, it’s in a small still voice or a flash of inspiration. If you’re internally noisy, you can’t hear it and you miss life-changing moments. How many times have we said something like, “I should have followed my mind” or “Something told me not to do that”. That’s intuition – gently guiding us to where we should be but never forcing us to take the enlightened path.
Today, I challenge you to turn down the internal noise and create a tranquil inner space for your intuition to be loud and clear. Here are some easy ways you can turn the internal noise down:
-Meditate. Even if it’s just 5 minutes in the morning, spend some time in stillness before you begin the day. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and gently clear away any thoughts to just focus on being present. Then slowly begin to see yourself in an ideal space of happiness, love, and abundance.
-Journal. Journaling gets it all out so spend some time writing about the things that are loudest in your inner space. Whether it’s a troubled relationship or a lingering problem, write about it honestly and thoroughly. Release it on the page and allow yourself to be open to the solution.
-Change your environment. Getting away – whether it’s a walk around the block or a week in another country – can inspire clarity and inner quiet. New surroundings require that we be totally present and observant of ourselves and our surroundings, thereby pushing the mute button on inner noise and inviting revelation and creativity.
Inspired Journaling Prompt: Write about a situation in your life when you followed a “hunch” and had a wonderful outcome. Write about other ways following your intuition can empower you.
Inspired Action: Listen! Listen to God’s voice and act on what you hear. Don’t let grass grow under your intuitive leads – take action right away!
Wonder Woman Wednesday
Hey guys!
I'm Honey Magazine's Wonder Woman today! Check out the link: http://www.honeymag.com/2010/lifestyle/wonder-woman-wednesdays-lisa-nicole-bell/
Enjoy!
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