For the Ladies: Conquering Superwoman Syndrome

So there you are – you’ve got 73 new emails, a phone that won’t stop ringing, a 2 pm deadline at the office, and you’re in the middle of the nastiest breakup in history. This is officially a meltdown. You fight back tears, but you know that you’ve reached your limit and something must change.

If you’ve ever been in this type of situation, you know how it feels to be facing Superwoman Syndrome – that nagging feeling of not being enough because you can’t be, do, and have it all at once while looking like Beyonce’, making money like Oprah, and dropping knowledge like Maya Angelou. I’ve spoken to women all over the world who have dealt with this and yet we all feel so alone – as if every other chick on the planet is making it all work effortlessly while we fail miserably. This feeling of needing to do it all and be it all usually starts in our teens and follows us into womanhood. We don’t even realize it until we have some type of breakdown or until we look up and realize that we’ve been so busy running on life’s treadmill in our Louboutin stilettos that we’ve forgotten that we’re human beings who require mental and emotional nourishment to be our best.

We have all heard the instructions of the airline attendant reminding us to put on our own oxygen masks before helping anyone else with theirs. And so it is in your life. No matter how many unchecked items there are on your to do list or how much your best friend needs you to bail her out (for the third time this week), you have to be happy, healthy, and filled up in order to show up at your best in your life. Think about it: how often have you felt guilty and selfish for saying no or for simply taking time away for yourself? Your personal success and happiness is the beginning of the success you create in every area of your life. This means fostering a mindset that encourages self-love, rest, pampering, and indulgences. In order to truly be an empowered woman who experiences feminine success, you have to get comfortable saying no to the good so you can say yes to the great. There’s nothing wrong with delegating a task to someone else or delaying a commitment for the sake of maintaining your own mental, emotional, and physical health. You can even encourage yourself by saying "I am caring for myself so that I am better able to care for others" or “The investment with the highest return is the investment in myself” or some other mantra that will encourage you. It also helps to remember that self-care doesn’t have to be composed of massively time-consuming acts. In fact, the best prescription for taking care of yourself is probably small, daily rituals; for example, taking one half-hour for yourself at the beginning and end of the day to meditate or journal or spending some time at the end of the day alone in a warm bath or relaxing on your patio.

Whatever you decide, make it a daily ritual to feed your spirit before putting on your Superwoman cape. You’ll find yourself more balanced and ready to handle the day. The oxygen you need is all around you; sometimes you just need to be reminded to breathe.

Worrying Is Praying For What You Don't Want!

Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.

I have theories about the power of thoughts and words that have been confirmed countless times by myself and millions of other people. I want to address what I call the push vs. pull approach to living life. This concept is essential to living a life free of worry, resentment, and anxiety. I submit that our thoughts are efforts to either push undesired situations away from us or pull desirable situations to us. As we grow in our understanding of the Law of Attraction, we recognize that our perception of the world around us colors our experiences.

Oftentimes, we worry, almost incessantly, about various issues in our lives. Interestingly enough, the things we often worry about are the things over which we have no control. Worry is a backstabbing friend in that it makes us feel as if we’re doing something about a situation although worrying brings us no closer to a solution. We spin the wheels of our emotions by worrying and then we’re left with little to no mental energy to approach issues in an intelligent and creative way.

This week, I encourage you to make worry a thing of the past. Worrying is not truly serving you. When you feel tempted to worry, affirm a positive outcome or concentrate on confidence-raising visions of the future. If you feel anxious, take action. Action is fear repellent and provides a constructive outlet for anxious energy. By taking action, you are exerting some degree of real control versus passively attempting to change the situation with negative thought and emotion.

Instead of using worry to try to push negative outcomes away, try using positive thought and affirmations to pull a solution to you. Imagine chasing a butterfly; it’s fickle and difficult to catch. You may find yourself frustrated and out of breath. However, if you sit still, it will come and gracefully land on your shoulder. The things we desire most often work in the same way. When negative, debilitating thoughts creep in, cancel them and replace them with positive thoughts that serve us. We must set the positive intention of bringing forth wonderful outcomes by praying, consulting with wise & trusted friends, and being honest about our feelings. Then we can rest knowing that God will not withhold any good thing from us.