Looks nice huh?
Now what if the interior had candy wrappers, dirty diapers, soda cans, 3 month old food, mud, crumbs, and dust all over it?
That would be a contradiction...an obvious contrast from the shiny and clean exterior to the junky, filthy interior.
But how many of us are like this car? We spend more time cleaning and grooming our exteriors than we do our interiors.
I was speaking with a prospective member of the board of Inspired Girls, and the thing I just LOVE about this woman is her authenticity...I mean, she's so REAL. She's not afraid to be who she is, imperfections and all, and to acknowledge that in a very frank yet graceful way. To say that I have tremendous respect for her would be an understatement. And interestingly enough, her authenticity inspires the same in others.
Anyway, I was applauding her authenticity and telling her how much I appreciated that about her, and I began to consider why it was such a big deal to me. The reason is because there are so many people who struggle with being authentic. The relationship that we have with ourselves and with God is revealed in our relationships with others. When we struggle to be authentic with those around us, we can almost certainly trace the effect back to ourselves as the cause.
Part of the issue is not wanting to be seen as we are. Have you ever been in a lounge, club or restaurant that was dimly lit? You may have seen a person across the room who looked amazing, but when they stepped into the light, you saw their flaws and bordered on being indignant at the misrepresentation. We want to believe that what we see (or hear) is what we get...but too often this is not the case.
So, how do we remedy this? Well, it requires introspection and a commitment to growth. I have several framed quotes on the wall in my office and one of them says, "Love yourself unconditionally for this is how God loves you and He created you." I absolutely love it because I often need the reminder to be patient with myself. As we begin choosing to love ourselves, forgive ourselves, and believe that we should live the lives of our dreams, we find that our self-image improves as does our level of self-respect.
Albert Einstein said that problems cannot be solved on the level they were created. If you are operating at a level 2 that renders you inauthentic, your development into a person who is authentic will require change - an ascension to a higher plane. Most people can't have what they say they want because they're mastered by the fear of change. The unknown is single handedly responsible for a lack of achievement. And change, in all of its scary glory, requires commitment.
So what are we committing to? To being wrong sometimes. To making mistakes sometimes. To errors in judgment. To space to grow. To taking steps into the unknown. To jumping out of the proverbial planes in our lives. To being 100% true to the person who shows up in light rather than the person who cowers in darkness.
In my book, I talk about the importance of "safety" in relationships - safety to be honest, to communicate needs and wants, to pursue meaningful goals, and to make mistakes. Safety is rooted in being loved perfectly even though you are imperfect. In loving people as if they are what they ought to be, we help them become everything they should be. However, this level of love can only be achieved when we are able to love our imperfect selves perfectly. And so, this brings us again to the necessity of personal authenticity...because if you cannot accept and love yourself unconditionally - flaws and all - then you will be irritated at the very suggestion of having to love someone more than you love yourself.
My challenge to you is to begin (and continue) making authentic choices. Starting today. Say what you need to say - speak the truth in love. Make the decision you need to make. I can assure you that living in your truth and operating from complete authenticity and personal integrity will NOT always feel good. In fact, it will often make you uneasy...but I consider it an acquired taste. As you continue to operate authentically with yourself and others, you will find it less uncomfortable. You will attract other authentic people and create safe, healthy relationships. Over time, authenticity becomes a way of life and anything but the truth is considered unacceptable.
Every success is sweeter when achieved by the authentic you. You are more than enough.
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