I recently had a situation occur where someone close to me lied to me. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time this person had lied about something, and I found myself disappointed, frustrated, and confused. After all, I made it clear to this person after the first incident that lying was unacceptable and that I was a "safe" person - one with whom this person could be honest.
After spending time in reflection, I realized that this person's issues are simply deep and do not concern me. When situations like these occur, it's easy to start looking for a place to lay blame. Blame and the assignment of responsibility help us make sense of things and allow the logical parts of our brains to be at rest knowing that something or someone caused an incident to occur.
However, sometimes, there is no cause other than a lack of integrity and poor character. We can't get apples from an orange tree so the best course of action is to believe what we see from dishonest people and to then handle them accordingly.
While I do believe in second chances, and generally speaking, I believe people can change, I also believe it's rare. The human psyche plays so many tricks on us and often hinders us from ascending to our full potential. Even when given new opportunities to get it right, we often find ourselves feeling as if it "couldn't have been that bad" since the worst didn't happen. And yet the grace which could have been easily been withheld goes taken for granted.
If you've followed me anywhere for any length of time, you know I'm a lesson miner. I very strongly believe in mining life's experiences for lessons that can empower us to live well in the future. And so, I'm taking several important lessons from this and I'm reminded of others...
~Another person's lack of integrity is never your fault. Personal responsibility is king and cannot be evaded. Ever.
~People must want change for themselves and be fervent in their pursuit of it. There's nothing that can be done to help the person who does not help him or her self.
~When you choose to behave in accordance with your values and morals, those same things will follow you. Revenge is for people who do not believe in the Law of Reaping & Sowing. Revenge negates your own flow of love, joy, peace, and abundance so allow God to deal justly with those who mistreat you.
This person will be graciously removed from my life, and space will be opened for someone else!
Later.
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